


Dress Rehearsals

by unfolded73



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-09 06:26:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18632644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unfolded73/pseuds/unfolded73
Summary: [There is literally nothing I can put here that isn't a spoiler.]





	Dress Rehearsals

Pepper eyed the sofa Bruce had settled on and wondered if this new version of him was enough at peace with himself that he wouldn’t take offense if she asked him to move to a nice, sturdy chair.

She met his glance as she curled up in her own chair next to the fireplace, a cup of tea in hand. Most of the funeral attendees had left, thank God, and Morgan had finally, mercifully fallen asleep. Pepper stared into the fire, wondering how much longer the lockbox of her grief would stay closed. She could feel the strain of holding it in, a pressure on her chest and between her eyes.

“I’ve had so many fucking dress rehearsals for this,” she murmured.

“Dress rehearsals?”

She turned her head enough to catch a glimpse of Bruce’s profile.

“I’ve been certain Tony was dead… I’ve lost count. Four times? Five?” She shook her head. “That doesn’t even count the times back when I thought he might drink himself to death, or work himself to death.” She smiled. “In the old days I thought some woman he’d wronged might murder him. I’ve practiced this grief over and over. Gamed out what I would do literally thousands of times.”

“Does that help now?”

She tried to laugh, but a choked off gasp emerged from her throat instead. “No.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Because even when any hope seemed lost, even when logic would tell me there was no possible way Tony could come back to me, there was always a part of my brain that knew that he would. A part that wasn’t surprised when he walked out of that fucking desert, or came back to Earth in a spaceship. He’s… he was… charmed. Invulnerable. He couldn’t just… die. Not Tony Stark. Not Iron Man.”

Bruce made a soft noise of agreement.

“So now, even though I… I watched it happen, I just… there’s a little voice in my head that thinks he’ll somehow come back from even this. Which is ridiculous, I know. I know that’s not going to happen. He’s dead. Really this time.” She closed her eyes, focusing on the after-image of the flames on her retinas. “I tell myself that a hundred times a day, and I still can’t help this feeling that he’s going to come strutting through that door any minute.”

Silence hung between them for several long seconds. It felt like she and Bruce and the world were holding their collective breath. 

“Sorry, I shouldn’t be telling you all this,” she said. Pepper Potts was the strong one, the long-suffering one who could take anything in stride. Pepper Potts didn’t open her heart up on the table and offer its contents to people.

“Of course you should,” Bruce said.

“Someone said to me today, ‘at least you had some good years together.’” Another of those choking laughs escaped her throat. “I swear to God, I wanted to summon one of the suits and punch her into next week.”

Bruce chuckled . “That would have been pretty funny if you had.”

“Yeah, we had some good years together. I know that. But we were supposed to…” Tears welled up then, and she surrendered herself to them at last, letting them roll down her cheeks. “We were supposed to have…” She swallowed with difficulty, unable to get more words out.

“The universe owes him -- and you -- an enormous debt.”

“The universe can go fuck itself.”

Another chuckle from Bruce. “Yeah.”

“I told him to go. And I knew what the risk was, what the stakes were. I mean, it’s not like either of us could have shut the world out and kept living this idyllic life with our daughter, knowing that he had the knowledge to save everyone. But there’s a small, vicious part of me that will always wish we could have.” Pepper swallowed back a sob, because if she really got going, she feared she might scream. Scream and scream and never stop.

The sofa creaked ominously, and then she felt a huge, heavy hand settle on her shoulder. It was enormously comforting, like the weight of it was there to prevent her from zooming up into space and trying to tear apart the cosmos for what it had done to her family. 

“I’m going to miss him forever,” she said.

“I know. Me too.”

Pepper let out a sigh, her shoulders dropping as a little bit of the tension she’d been holding in them drained away. There was something strangely freeing in admitting to herself that a part of her would grieve Tony forever. And another part of her would move on and live. For herself, for Morgan, and for the rest of the sorry world that Tony had sacrificed himself to save.

She took a drink from her cup and grimaced; she’d let another cup of tea go cold. Standing, she turned toward the kitchen to make another. “By the way, Bruce, if you break that sofa, you’re getting me a new one.”

He stood, head ducked under the beams of the ceiling, his face a mixture of contrition and amusement. “You sound just like Tony.”

Pepper smiled. “Yeah.”


End file.
